About the Author
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
The peta cookbook uses the word 'nuke' more than half the time to replace the traditional word, 'microwave.' As in, "nuke for 1 minute, or until cheese is melted." That word never fails to amuse me. Nuke, nuke, nukity nuke.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day."Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish," she says, "will God get mad at me if I give someone a valentine?"Her father thinks for a moment, then replies. "No, I don't think he would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?""Osama Bin Laden," she says."Why him?" Melissa's father says, reeling back in shock."Well," Melissa says, "I thought if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, then he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved him and how he didn't hate anyone any more."Her father's heart swells as he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that is the most wonderful thing I've ever heard someone say.""I know," Melissa says. "And once that gets him out in the open, the Marines can shoot the fucker and really kill him."
Monday, December 28, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Then I stopped using AIM.
So, were any of you ever involved in this? Ah, the good old days.
4. Barack Obama accepts Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing
3. Farrah Fawcett dies
2. Michael Jackson dies
And the biggest news story of 2009... is...
1. So, wait... MJ didn't do it?!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
I saw an old- no, ancient- Asian-looking woman in Publix today. She was wearing a bright green tee that said (in red letters adorned with mistletoe along the edges), "How naughty do you think I've been this year?"
I giggled and pointed this out to my grandmother. She leaned in and whispered, "Not very, I'd guess, with that hip replacement."
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
There's only 10 days left to vote, and you know you want me to know which sites you use. Okay? So just slide the cursor on over there and do some clickin'. It takes, like, three seconds.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all of my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my forties I find it even better!
About a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!
In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were inconclusive and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.
Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Generally, people agree that the United States had no prior knowledge that his attack would take place. Of course, people also used to generally believe that the world was flat. (Then again, people also generally believe that humans usually have fingernails. What now?)
What I'm getting at is that many conspiracy theorists out there believe that the Roosevelt administration had prior knowledge of the attack on Pearl Harbor, which was purposefully ignored in order to gain public and Congressional support for America entering the war on the side of the British Empire and her allies.
Some believe this; most don't. However, theorists that challenge the traditional belief that the attack was a suprise do have a few good points.
For example, Roosevelt very much wanted to get involved in the war against Germany (though it was not publicly stated). To quote Wikipedia:
"A basic understanding of the political situation of 1941 precludes such an understanding as reasonable evidence Roosevelt invited, allowed, or even knew of the Pearl Harbor attack. Military historian and novelist, Thomas Fleming, argues that President Roosevelt, himself, had wished for Germany or Japan to strike the first blow, but did not expect the United States to be hit as severely as she was in the attack on Pearl Harbor. Even though it was Japan, not Germany, who actually attacked the U.S. fleet, America still officially entered the war in the European theater four days later after Germany declared war on the U. S."
I do believe that there is evidence that we don't know everything there is to know about the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor; howevecr, I won't go so far as to say that Roosevelt and his administration had prior knowledge of the strength of the attack.
What do you think? Even if you think it's a load of crap, I'd at least like to hear a word of respect for the soldiers that went down.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I guess the voice sounds like him, but Jesus Christ, people.
According to a mysterious, unnamed source (read: my stepmom, who saw it on the news- hey, it isn't like I gave her name out!), the woman was paid $25,000 to claim she had twenty encounters with Tiger.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
"He means fuck. You can't say fuck in school, you fucking fatass!"
Monday, November 9, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Want to see some more of my amazing writing? Check out my FanFiction.net account if you like fanfiction, and you like what you've seen of me here!
Lolz, if you want to know the real reason I'm plugging my FFN account, it's because I'm bored, at my mother's, and have nothing better to do than bother you innocent people.
Yeah, I know, some of my choices are a little weird. I'm proud of it! TheFineBros (and ShaneDawsonTV) rock my socks off!
What are your favorite videos?
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
So, I'm making a list of various signs of intellectual giftedness I show/have shown. (An X means I don't show it now, but I used to.) Oh, and the title of this links to the Wiki for the subject :)
- Exceptional Vocabulary
- Ability to understand complex ideas
- Easily frustrated
- Wide area of interest
- Highly sensitive
- Stubborn and opinionated
- Inconsistent academic performance X
- Highly developed sense of humor
- Curious and inquisitive
- Voluntary social isolation X
- Depression X
- Shyness X
[[Probably because she doesn't know how to use a computer.]]
Anyways, she starts complaining to us about how the bus is just so dirty, and how it's all our fault, and she's going to make us clean it up tomorrow. Like, pass around a trash bag and pick crap up off the floor of the bus.
My first thought: "Uhm, no. This woman is not making me do this."
Tomorrow, I am going to refuse to do it. I don't care if she kicks me off- that just means I get to go to Sonic after school when Amy picks me up, just like she did for Taylor when he got kicked off. Meh. I'll be sure to update with the big news of what will happen when I refuse...
What is it with guys and picking on girls? I'm used to Tyler doing it, but was today, I dunno, Pick On Random Chicks day?
I mean, Andrew kept making fun of me for bringing my computer to school, but he was complimenting me (and the computer) at the same time. Then, Matt kept randomly leaning over and pinching me during fourth period. And on the bus, Cade wouldn't stop taking my computer, and when I tried to grab it back, I got the ever-so-mature reply, "Go away! Leave me alone!" in a high-pitched, squeaky voice.
Monday, November 2, 2009
1. Are you vegetarian? Vegan? Do you just care a lot about animals like kitty cats and fluffy bunnies and big ol' German Shepherds like mine? Go to Peta2.com and if you sign up, tell them email@example.com was your referral- I'll get points, and I think you will, too!
B. I'm going to start taking my computer to school for 'notes' in Driver's Ed (i.e. most boring class I have ever had the misfortune to be forced to take- today, we learned about signs). Why is notes in single quotes, you ask? Because I probably won't actually take notes. In fact, I'll probably just be either writing fanfiction or IMing Marissa (she uses hers for notes in first period as well). And, once we get out of Driver's Ed (next week), I can use it for notes in Health (the first period class DE is cutting into), as well as this project we're doing in World History.
3. Speaking of my WH project, I'll tell ya about that. I am going to make a version of TIME magazine, but in the time period right after Catherine of Aragon and Henry VIII got a divorce. It has to have news related to that time, a few ads (supposed to be goofy- I already have some ideas... audiobooks of The Prince, anyone? Only 2 silver coins!), stuff like that. Oh, and comics! I might try and scan in what I do (along with my grade, haha) so you can see the result of my major awesomeness.
IV. After coming thisclose to committing suicide, my life has suddenly taken a turn for the better. Weird, right? You'd assume it would get worse. Well, it hasn't. I've been abnormally happy, I've been way closer to God (sorry to offend if you're a religion other than Christian, but I'm rarely PC in my posts, LOL), and I haven't felt bad about myself. Even though that lady at the Suicide Hotline really didn't help me much- she just calmed me down, mostly- she did, in a way. Get it? Eh. Neither do I.
Love you all tons and tons and tons- I would give you some Dove chocolate, but when I try to stick it through the screen, it just makes my computer all messy XD
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
While we were there, I turned to my friend Tyler and told him that if I had any spare money, I would bribe the announcer into yelling "TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR!" every time the non-seniors scored (the students and faculty in charge of the whole thing had pitted the seniors against the freshman, sophomores, and juniors), so guess what he did.
Every time the non-seniors scored, he would stand up and yell "TEN POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!" Granted, we only scored twice, but whatever. It's the thought that counts. And it was hilarious. None of us- me, Tyler, Katie, Rachel, Fadia, Fadia's older sister (Nadia, I think?), Kayla, and Jenny- paid much attention to the game.
Tyler, Katie, and I shared jokes. All sorts of jokes: obscene jokes, yo mama jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes (much to Jenny's dismay- she's a natural blonde). Mostly obscene jokes, naturally. Most of them were Christopher Titus quotes.
In case you're wondering, the game ended up as a tie.
Oh, and on a side note: I visited the guidance counselor this morning- she set up a meeting between me and a different counselor, whom deals solely with people like me, tomorrow morning.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Me: "I'm on it!"
I am blogging on one of the school's library's computers, and I'm surprised this blog wasn't blocked. In fact, I'm surprised that Blogger in general isnt' blocked.
Ack. Gotta go. Teacher needs us to leave for dismissal :/
Will update once I get home!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Until my mom comes to pick me up, I'm staying at my dad's office, screwing around on the computer (reading fanfiction, email, and blogs). I just looked out the window and saw the most awesome car in the whole world: I don't know the model, but it has a cool feel to it, and it's black with magenta rally stripes! How great is that?! It's like a scene version of the Transformer car!
It's like Bumblebee before he got all fancy. Remember, when Megan Fox calls him a 'piece of crap Camaro'? Yeah! That car!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Is it just me, or does Carlisle look kind of like a shitty Ken doll? I think it's the hair. Anyways, big thanks to ETonline.com for the pic; the title of this post links back to the page where I found it.
I'm not the most die-hard of Twilight fans (I much prefer Harry Potter), but I can appreciate a good book when I read one- and I can't wait to see the film adaptation of New Moon. Jasper has a little scene especially for himself- okay, not really, but I'll take any chance I can get to see the awesome Jackson Rathbone. I suppose I'll just have to wait for Eclipse to see more of him.
What about Breaking Dawn? Is there a load of Jasper? I read the first few chapters, then I couldn't go on. It read like a fanfiction would, and I just can't stand that in a novel (no offense, Ms. Meyer!).
Anyways, that's it for today. I did a bunch of layout editing and rearranging, so I'm not up to more than one post tonight. Until tomorrow, my friend!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Instead, my great-grandparents, whom I haven't seen in a while and will probably smother me with love, will be keeping me until August the fifth.
School starts on the tenth- thank God I won't have to deal with grades ten and up the first day. At Harpeth, the first day is always exclusively freshmen so we can figure out how to get to all our classes and whatnot.
I saw Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince! Twice! The first time was on Friday with Rachel, Katie, and Tyler. The second time was yesterday at the drive-in with my family, but Rachel was there as well (and it was her third time seeing it, darn her), so I ended up sitting with her on a blanket at the very front.
I'm now at my mom's, and you can guess what I'm doing. Blogging!
By the way, there is no way in hell I'm ever taking Home Ec. I already know all that crap, and I don't like it. If I ever need help, I'll call Katie or my grandmother.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
He turns to her, and, with a brow raised, asks, "Why?"
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
One Piece of Absolutely Brilliant News
The CSS that I mentioned I was having problems with in an earlier post works not only in Firefox, but also in Safari, Flock, and Opera (in the versions I have, anyway).
One Absolutely Brilliant Revelation
IE is a quality loner. It's the only browser in which my coding doesn't work (as far as I know), and it's been beat four to one. I love CSS. Not only does it provide furniture for the otherwise barren home HTML creates (sorry, that's the easiest metaphor to use), it also brings up many good discussion points like this one.
That is all.
For those of you that can't tell, that's a part of my stylesheet. In the header div layer, this works absolutely fine in FF. However, when I try this on IE, my center div layer scoots down about 30-40 pixels. My left div doesn't seem to have this problem. I've already tried changing the 'top' attribute in the center div, but then it reverses the problem: it will work in IE, but not FF.
I never, ever, had this issue while designing the website for Homeland Title. Everything worked fine on that one.
If you have any ideas as to what the problem is, or if you have a possible solution, please comment or email me. Thanks in advance!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I really like it, because it has a little sidebar where it holds all my crap- Blogger, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Gmail, Yahoo! Mail, Wordpress, and all the other random junk I use on a daily basis.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Nov 29, 2008, Wal-mart employee trampled to death
Wal-mart employees are not unionized and have low pay and bad health benefits.
Wal-mart forces opponents and suppliers out of business if they do not do the same with benefits and wages.
Wal-mart is not just the world's largest retailer. It's the world's largest company--bigger than ExxonMobil, General Motors, and General Electric
She hates us children, though. I don't know why. I'm not a loud, annoying kid, I'm a quiet thirteen year old that spends most of her time reading (just like my mother, who Bootsy adores)! I don't move quickly, so that can't be it either. Maybe I'll record her hissing and post it up. On second thought, no. I don't want to get that close to her.
- you have over seven blog posts a week
- your notebook is filled with notes on characters and plot bunnies, not biology
- you constantly compare people (whether or not you know them) to one of the characters you're writing about
- you quote your characters, leaving people wondering who the hell Christine Potter is
More later, that was just a little thing I decided to do thirty seconds ago. I had a lot more, but, alas, that ice cream is making the ideas go through my head a million miles a millisecond (haha- alliteration!).
:) Seriously, I have a little writing up there, so you should check it out.
Here's a little embed from TVshack.net courtesy of moi!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
My little brother, Thaxton (age 6), just asked if we could watch Star Wars. He has a speech impediment, though, so it came out more like Star Whores.
I woke up at eight this morning, after around six and a half hours of sleep. I tried to listen to my iPod Nano, but my headphones were messed up. My siblings woke up at ten after eight and the first thing they did was argue. Over anything and everything- who got to play the Wii first, what Edward said in Twilight (we were watching the movie), what kind of yogurt is best.
After a little while they calmed down and I got a mosquito bite the size of a quarter on my lower right arm near my wrist. (While inside the house, which kind of scares me.) My hair looks like crap, and has a huge knot about two inches from where it meets my neck. I get writer's block, so I have trouble writing my fics (not to mention all the noise). We watch Twilight again, and Sydney (one of my eight year old sisters, Shelby's twin) keeps asking stupid questions like, "Who is that? Is that girl a vampire?" In that case, she was talking about Bella's mom.
We just got back from a picnic in the park composed of crappy peanut butter sandwiches, crackers with either cheese or peanut butter, yogurt, and root beer. I hate root beer. The smell is nauseating. So anyways, I get another dime-sized mosquito bite on my other arm. I hate those. (The bites, not the bugs. Well, the bites and the bugs, really.) Anyways, right now Sydney can't figure out how to work the shower and she's taking her anger out on Thaxton with a pillow. I have to go break up the fight. Goodbye.
Monday, June 1, 2009
I really hate when ten websites say the same thing about a code, and it turns out to be wrong. I'm not going to name any names, for the sake of those over at HotScripts and DynamicDrive, but that's incredibly irksome (haha alliteration... sorry).
Anyways, I'll post up my issue later if I can't figure out a solution on my own. Fellow web designers/coders, get ready.
By far, my favorite game is the hula hoop one. I feel so stupid doing it, but it really wears you out!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
So... that's all. I'll update/complain again later, I'm going to my mom's house- her internet always works. That, or I can pick up the neighbor's signal since she lives in a condo (whereas my dad lives here in the freaking middle of nowhere, where customer service and signal stealing opportunities are for crap).
Friday, May 29, 2009
- Dig out flash drive
- Discover drive is too small for files
- Dig out other flash drive
- Discover other drive is incompatible with Vista (stupid)
- Find *another* flash drive (4GB, brand new)
- Google Windows Vista Service Pack 1
- Download the Vista SP1
- Realize that this will take a while
- Watch in agony as the internet cuts out
- Start download (which is a huge-a** file) of Vista SP1
- Figure you might as well download Vista SP2 as well
- Google it
- Find download page, look for compatible download version
- Wonder what the hell "x86" is
- Google it
- Finally realize, after fifteen minutes of searching, that it wouldn't really matter, because there was an all-purpose download for x86 and 64-bit versions of Vista
- Listen to family watch Role Models in the living room, watch twenty minutes of the movie
- Come back to check progress on downloads
- Groan when you see that there's still 1 hour, 1 minute remaining
- Bang head against desk
- Groan in pain
- Take some Tylenol
- Lie down
(repeat with any other downloads you may ever require)