F-ing Hilarious Joke

No, seriously. One of my friends told me. Here it is:

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish," she says, "will God get mad at me if I give someone a valentine?"

Her father thinks for a moment, then replies. "No, I don't think he would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why him?" Melissa's father says, reeling back in shock.

"Well," Melissa says, "I thought if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, then he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved him and how he didn't hate anyone any more."

Her father's heart swells as he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that is the most wonderful thing I've ever heard someone say."

"I know," Melissa says. "And once that gets him out in the open, the Marines can shoot the fucker and really kill him."

Pearl Harbor: A Conspiracy Theory

Today is the 68th anniversary of an overwhelmingly horrific day in our nation's history (like how I got all wordy there?). On December 7th, 1941, the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor.

Generally, people agree that the United States had no prior knowledge that his attack would take place. Of course, people also used to generally believe that the world was flat. (Then again, people also generally believe that humans usually have fingernails. What now?)

What I'm getting at is that many conspiracy theorists out there believe that the Roosevelt administration had prior knowledge of the attack on Pearl Harbor, which was purposefully ignored in order to gain public and Congressional support for America entering the war on the side of the British Empire and her allies.

Some believe this; most don't. However, theorists that challenge the traditional belief that the attack was a suprise do have a few good points.

For example, Roosevelt very much wanted to get involved in the war against Germany (though it was not publicly stated). To quote Wikipedia:

"A basic understanding of the political situation of 1941 precludes such an understanding as reasonable evidence Roosevelt invited, allowed, or even knew of the Pearl Harbor attack. Military historian and novelist, Thomas Fleming, argues that President Roosevelt, himself, had wished for Germany or Japan to strike the first blow, but did not expect the United States to be hit as severely as she was in the attack on Pearl Harbor. Even though it was Japan, not Germany, who actually attacked the U.S. fleet, America still officially entered the war in the European theater four days later after Germany declared war on the U. S."

I do believe that there is evidence that we don't know everything there is to know about the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor; howevecr, I won't go so far as to say that Roosevelt and his administration had prior knowledge of the strength of the attack.

What do you think? Even if you think it's a load of crap, I'd at least like to hear a word of respect for the soldiers that went down.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pearl_Harbor_advance-knowledge_debate

Tiger Woods and His "Mistress"

I actually didn't even hear about this until I looked up popular trends on Twitter (do you use Twitter? Follow me @thatprettichick!) and saw 'Tiger Woods' and the explanation. I did some Googleing and found a few recordings.

I guess the voice sounds like him, but Jesus Christ, people.

According to a mysterious, unnamed source (read: my stepmom, who saw it on the news- hey, it isn't like I gave her name out!), the woman was paid $25,000 to claim she had twenty encounters with Tiger.