9. We will fool ourselves into thinking we're completely and utterly in love. Don't mess with us about it; it's embarrassing and will only make us resent you. Just be supportive, please.
8. Unless we're willing to text you in school, you're not cool. Often you guys try way too hard to be cool. My dad fails. My mother wins. It's just how it works out.
7. We hate it when you bitch about us in earshot. If you have to do it, at least make sure we can't hear you. It hurts.
6. There are multiple versions of us. Not in a schizophrenic way, necessarily. I just mean that I act very differently around my parents than I do around my friends, or around my aunts and uncles, or here on my pseudo-anonymous blog. Just realize that you may not be seeing every aspect of your baby's personality.
5. Two out of a hundred parents think their little boy or girl has sexted. Thirteen in a hundred teens have done it. I'm not saying go through our texts or anything (that's a gross invasion of privacy, or what we teens like to call not fucking right), but just keep a bit of an eye out. But keep in mind that thirteen of a hundred isn't very many. Odds are, your teen not only hasn't sexted- they despise the thought of it!
4. Facebook has different privacy levels. You know how I told you that you see a different side of your teen than his or her friends do? I was being literal. Your teen can hide posts, notes, pictures- pretty much anything- from you on Facebook. Do with this information what you will. (Yes, I'm fairly sadistic, ratting out on my fellow teens like this, heehee.)
3. We like gift cards more than gifts of clothing. As much as you think you have our style down, you probably don't. Instead of buying forty dollars in clothing, give forty dollars in gift cards on the condition that whatever's bought has to get your approval (if you have a particularly sneaky teen, you may want to check the receipt as well, just to make sure you're seeing all that he our she bought!).
2. The bedroom is our safe haven. Here's a short tale for you: my father dug through my stuff. I guess he was looking for drugs or something. He then told me off for having a little jar of chocolate frosting in my dresser. I never trusted my father again. The end. Moral of the story? Don't overstep any boundaries unless you have a damn good reason to do so. Be gentle.
1. We do love you. Really, we do. It's just that we don't always like you. You're kind of irritating sometimes, you know?