13 Hours Left to Vote

Holy wow. 13 hours left to vote. Ya better get right on that.

Oh, and Happy Fuckin' New Year!

Nuke is a Four-Letter Word

I have finally realized why the cookbook my grandmother gave me (peta's Vegan College Cookbook) entertains me so much more than the cookbook my stepmother gave me (Ok, So Now You're a Vegetarian). First off, peta's has much more of a 'hey, check this shit out!' feel, and tells jokes all the time. Ok, ... doesn't, and has this weird feel to it... I mean, look at the title. It's a bad title. I don't like it. And the part under it, 'from one teen to another,' just makes me want to hurl. People my age don't call each other 'teens.'

We call each other other names. Ones I'm not sure I should say ;)

Anyways, the reason is that- all right, I just noticed something else. The author of the second one? Her last name is Butts. Why would I want to eat food from recipes created with the last name Butts? Moving on.

The peta cookbook uses the word 'nuke' more than half the time to replace the traditional word, 'microwave.' As in, "nuke for 1 minute, or until cheese is melted." That word never fails to amuse me. Nuke, nuke, nukity nuke.

F-ing Hilarious Joke

No, seriously. One of my friends told me. Here it is:

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish," she says, "will God get mad at me if I give someone a valentine?"

Her father thinks for a moment, then replies. "No, I don't think he would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why him?" Melissa's father says, reeling back in shock.

"Well," Melissa says, "I thought if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, then he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved him and how he didn't hate anyone any more."

Her father's heart swells as he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that is the most wonderful thing I've ever heard someone say."

"I know," Melissa says. "And once that gets him out in the open, the Marines can shoot the fucker and really kill him."

OMFG!

Oh. My. Freaking. Gloria.

You only have, like, two days left to vote on that poll! So get your skinny little butt over there (unless your rear is neither skinny nor little, in which case please apply the proper adjectives, if you get where I'm going with this).

But seriously. I wanna know. You're interesting, and I care about you and your opinions.

No, really ;)

Caffeine Jitters? Yeah, I Think Not

For whatever reason, caffeine has never really given me that high, or rush, that people talk about. It doesn't keep me from sleeping; in fact, on the occasions that I do drink coffee before bed (rarely lately, since my dad's a freak about teens getting all jacked up on caffeine, but now that I'm staying with my Starbucks-addicted mother, it will likely happen more often), I sleep pretty well.

My mother has the same curse- or is it possibly a blessing?- as I do. She drinks coffee and still has a bad attitu- erm, my mother's an angel? Ow! Mom, don't hit me! My mom's an angel!

If I go missing, she did it. Just remember that: Lydia's mother is an angel. I mean, all attorneys are, after all. Am I right?

Right.

Girls Rule the Blogosphere, says NYT

Uhm, what the hell? This post by the New York Times- yes, go read it, I'll wait- implies that people should be surprised by the fact that more teenage girls blog than boys. Since when are all computer users male? Since when do females not have free range over the internet, just as males do? Blegh.

The phrases the author uses even annoy me. Here are a few:

"This 'girls rule' trend..."

"'Girls are trained to make stories about themselves,'"

"From a young age they learn that they are objects,"

"'This would be called the feminization of the Internet,'"

"'Boys... engage in ways that aren’t confessional, that aren’t emotional.'"

"'The girls are much more into putting something up and getting responses.'"

What the fuck? Plenty of guys blog. Here's a starter list:

My Name is Logan

Something Like That

Cafe Denim

I'm Bloginit!

There. There's four I follow. Now, go visit them and tell me they're just as funny as I am. (But not funnier, because that would offend me, haha.)

AIM Warn Wars

In one of Caitlin Woodward's blog posts, she has a post on the old AIM Warn Wars everyone used to have. I remember these days all too well. My friends, to annoy me, would gang up on me (as she says in the post) and press my warning level so high I would get kicked off.

Then I stopped using AIM.

So, were any of you ever involved in this? Ah, the good old days.

Oh My God!

All right, take a deep breath. There's only five days left to vote. So click over there and just press the button. Please; I'm begging you.

Top Ten News Moments of 2009

5. Tiger Woods is a cheating bastard
4. Barack Obama accepts Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing
3. Farrah Fawcett dies
2. Michael Jackson dies

And the biggest news story of 2009... is...

1. So, wait... MJ didn't do it?!

Holy Son of a Biscuit!

 Santa's coming tonight, and he's bringing a bunch of crap presents with him! (Can I get a w00t, w00t!?) Have you been naughty or nice? ;)

I saw an old- no, ancient- Asian-looking woman in Publix today. She was wearing a bright green tee that said (in red letters adorned with mistletoe along the edges), "How naughty do you think I've been this year?"

I giggled and pointed this out to my grandmother. She leaned in and whispered, "Not very, I'd guess, with that hip replacement."

9 Days Left to Vote!

See that poll up on the top of the right-hand column? See it? Well, vote. There's only 9 days left before I close that girl up and put up a new one. So, I suggest you vote soon!

Sneaking Out

Last night, my friend Rachel and I snuck out (well, it's not really sneaking out if it's only, like, five- or eight). So, where did we go?

A) Michael's Craft Store

B) Staples

C) Walgreens

D) All of the above

Yes, we went to Michael's, Staples, and Walgreens.

We bought a bunch of candles, some lavender oil, and two 2010 calendars (hers was puppies, mine was M&Ms!) at Michael's, two composition notebooks that looked like Ravenclaw (for me) and Gryffindor (for her) colors at Staples, and two Cokes and two Snickers bars at the Walgreens.

The guy behind the counter at Walgreens was like, "Oh, are you two going to a movie tonight? Sneakin' in candy and Cokes?"

Instead of telling him the truth, I just nodded- which, apparently, confused Rachel. Oi! Don't hit me, Ray! Fine, fine, it made all the sense in the world to her. <--- Lies!

Geek Forum

Hello, all! Just a friendly reminder that a quick visit to the Geek Forum might not be a bad thing. Xolik and I have had some interesting political discussions as of late, and it's just good fun in general.

Either click the linky link in that paragraph ^^^ or just click the title of this post, and it'll take ya straight to the most awesome, and geeky, place on the internet. (My name is h4wt_b3t4 if you want to message me, for whatever reason).

Vote in the Poll (Hurry, Before it's too Late!)

See that poll over there? >>>

There's only 10 days left to vote, and you know you want me to know which sites you use. Okay? So just slide the cursor on over there and do some clickin'. It takes, like, three seconds.

Funny Letter from a Housewife to Tide

Found this on the How Not to Act Old blog and, though it says not to, couldn't resist posting it up. Actually, it doesn't say anything about posting it on your blog, just emailing it around ;)

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all of my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my forties I find it even better!

About a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were inconclusive and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.

Christmas is Around the Corner!

Wait, am I allowed to call it Christmas, or is that offensive? Lord, I sure hope I don't offend anyone when large corporations like Coke commercialize the holiday every year and they don't get any crap about it...

Anyways, Christmas is coming up! I started wrapping presents for my mom, but gave up, because I don't believe my siblings want their gifts to look as... butchered... as they currently do. And I hate wrapping presents.

1. I Am...

A) Heartbroken,
B) A bad person,
C) Ready to just hurry up and die, or
D) All of the above.

And the answer is... D!

Don't you just love multiple choice tests?

Pearl Harbor: A Conspiracy Theory

Today is the 68th anniversary of an overwhelmingly horrific day in our nation's history (like how I got all wordy there?). On December 7th, 1941, the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor.

Generally, people agree that the United States had no prior knowledge that his attack would take place. Of course, people also used to generally believe that the world was flat. (Then again, people also generally believe that humans usually have fingernails. What now?)

What I'm getting at is that many conspiracy theorists out there believe that the Roosevelt administration had prior knowledge of the attack on Pearl Harbor, which was purposefully ignored in order to gain public and Congressional support for America entering the war on the side of the British Empire and her allies.

Some believe this; most don't. However, theorists that challenge the traditional belief that the attack was a suprise do have a few good points.

For example, Roosevelt very much wanted to get involved in the war against Germany (though it was not publicly stated). To quote Wikipedia:

"A basic understanding of the political situation of 1941 precludes such an understanding as reasonable evidence Roosevelt invited, allowed, or even knew of the Pearl Harbor attack. Military historian and novelist, Thomas Fleming, argues that President Roosevelt, himself, had wished for Germany or Japan to strike the first blow, but did not expect the United States to be hit as severely as she was in the attack on Pearl Harbor. Even though it was Japan, not Germany, who actually attacked the U.S. fleet, America still officially entered the war in the European theater four days later after Germany declared war on the U. S."

I do believe that there is evidence that we don't know everything there is to know about the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor; howevecr, I won't go so far as to say that Roosevelt and his administration had prior knowledge of the strength of the attack.

What do you think? Even if you think it's a load of crap, I'd at least like to hear a word of respect for the soldiers that went down.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pearl_Harbor_advance-knowledge_debate

Home Alone

No, not the movie (though that movie is side-splittingly hilarious).

What I mean is that when I am at home, probably 75% of the time I'm awake here, I'm alone. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I avoid home when I can. I'm always going over to friends' houses, going bowling with friends, etc. This weekend, I was barely home at all until now. I went home from school with Julianna, and spent the night at her house (it was me, her, and Jenny). After that, Jenny's mom dropped me off at my house, where I stayed for, like, an hour until Katie came and picked me up to bowling with her and John.

What does this mean? No clue.

"How a Web Design Goes Straight to Hell"

It's a comic about how a web design goes straight to hell.

Honestly, it's pretty accurate. Check it out!

Amanda Knox Trial (How Strong is that Evidence, Really?)

As many of you know, American exchange student Amanda Knox was recently found guilty of the first-degree murder of British exchange student Meredith Kercher. However, upon reading the different points of view on the trial, I'm not so sure she really is.

Excerpt from TIME:

In what is surely a well-rehearsed demonstration by now, Bremner goes on to address the case against Knox, point by point. The prosecution, she says, is most likely relying on a knife found at the house of Knox's then boyfriend and fellow accused Rafaelle Sollecito. That knife has Knox's DNA on the handle and what some forensic scientists say is Kercher's DNA on the tip. But Bremner dismisses the idea that it is the knife that killed Kercher: "They never found the murder weapon." Bremner claims that a bloody print on the bed linens conveys the shape of the actual murder weapon and that the knife in question "doesn't match an outline of the knife on the bed." Additionally, Bremner says, expert testimony has already indicated that at least two of the wounds on Kercher's neck couldn't have been made by that particular blade. That aside, she points out, it's not surprising that Knox's DNA would be on its handle; she prepared dinner with Sollecito in his apartment.

I agree with the woman. From what I've watched, this doesn't seem to be very strong evidence. There are many other discrepancies, which I implore you to check out (the title of this post will take you to the TIME article).

No, it isn't a conspiracy theory. I just think that the jurisdiction could have done a better job of sticking to the facts, rather than depending on the media.

Tiger Woods and His "Mistress"

I actually didn't even hear about this until I looked up popular trends on Twitter (do you use Twitter? Follow me @thatprettichick!) and saw 'Tiger Woods' and the explanation. I did some Googleing and found a few recordings.

I guess the voice sounds like him, but Jesus Christ, people.

According to a mysterious, unnamed source (read: my stepmom, who saw it on the news- hey, it isn't like I gave her name out!), the woman was paid $25,000 to claim she had twenty encounters with Tiger.