Time Machine Hugs

There are times I hear a story about someone from history and think, "God, I wish I could just travel back in time and hug them." Not in a congratulatory way, but in a consoling way. These are people who had no idea just what an inspiration they are, hundreds of years later.

• Copernicus He was so afraid of offending the church with his work On the Rotations of Heavenly Bodies- which challenged the traditional, church-endorsed geocentric (Earth-centered) view of the universe and replaced it with a still-technically-incorrect heliocentric (sun-centered) view- that he didn't publish until he'd grown quite old. And even when he published it, he had it dedicated to the Pope. He died about a year afterwards.
  The hug? I'd hug him and find a way of telling him not to worry, that he's been right all along, and that eventually the church is going to give in and acknowledge his genius for just that: genius.
  
  
• Galileo Another guy who just had no idea, bruh. This guy was locked away- by the Catholics, of course- and forced to recant his support of Copernicus's heliocentric view. He did for the telescope what Gutenberg did for the printing press; that is to say, he may not have invented it, but he sure as hell improved upon it. He was so incredibly frustrated by the fact that his peers swallowed the information fed to them and made no move to challenge the church's claims about the nature of the universe.
  The hug? I'd hug him and tell him what an absolute boss he is, and how in the not-very-distant, relatively, future, scientists gladly butt heads with the church and challenge everything. And, if I could, I'd download a couple Carl Sagan videos ahead of time and find a way to translate them so he could understand.

Falling

Someone- though I certainly have no idea who- once said, "Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to."

I've never given someone in whom I was romantically interested that level of trust. If things didn't work out, I didn't want to be left with a broken heart. And, invariably, things wouldn't work out (generally with me being the one to end things).

So when I got past that one-month mark in my current relationship without having qualms about the relationship or contemplating dumping him or anything of the sort, it struck something in me. For about a week, I distanced myself from the world while I considered the situation. I wasn't finding myself fantasizing about future relationships, I didn't find everything he did irritating, none of that.

I'd previously come to the conclusion that because my biological dad and my mother separated when I was two (and I haven't seen him face-to-face since), and then my mother and the man who raised me separated when I was thirteen, and then later my mother and her fiance broke things off, I have a bit of a commitment issue. I'm always looking forward, at the end, at what is going to wrong and fuck things up to permanently end the relationship. Because with every other guy, I'd caught myself doing that (if I hadn't already lost interest).

But with this guy... instead of picturing us fighting when it's time to go off to college, I picture us discussing things, and going to colleges near each other. He acts like we're going to be together forever- get married, have kids, the whole spiel- and it doesn't bother me like it always did with everyone else.

My "Type" (or: Why I'm Dating My Boyfriend)

My "type" has apparently undergone a drastic change. If, six months ago, you had described my current boyfriend (of three weeks so far) and asked if I'd date someone like that, I probably would have given an emphatic, "Hell no."

He smokes. He failed Biology. He isn't taking any AP classes. He used to be quite the right-winger.* He sometimes often mixes up "your" and "you're." He was Church of Christ for the longest time.**

But you know what? We've known each other for years, and have been good friends for a couple of those. A few months ago, I was going through some rough emotional times (including things that I posted on this blog and things that I couldn't quite put into written words) and he was the first one I thought to call, crying, when I needed it. He and I can talk for hours at a time on the phone. He can make me laugh when I'm feeling like shit. We have the same sense of humor. He knows that occasionally I need a bit of space.

Outwardly, we're very different. But if you look a little bit further inside, I think we match pretty well.

*He recently stated that he would totally marry Jon Stewart. So there's that.

**Now he's a very tolerant agnostic, probably agnostic theist if he had to choose, who frequently jokes about gay sex, Jesus, gay sex with Jesus, and everything else my friends and I are going to Hell for joking about.