Facebook Fiend

If you're my friend on Facebook, you can probably access my USPS account online. How? Here are the security questions you can choose from on the USPS website, and here's how easy it is to find the answers.

What is your mother's maiden name? Ha! Just go to my profile, find the section where it displays my parents, and there you go.

What is your favorite movie? You know where you put in all your favorite movies in your profile? Remember how last time you watched Titanic you wouldn't shut up about how much you love that movie?

What is your favorite sport? If it's your favorite sport, you probably play. If you play, you probably mention it at some point or another.

What is your favorite food to eat? (A.D.D. Moment: What else would my favorite food be for?) Again, I've probably mentioned my favorite food a thousand times. Every time I eat it, I'm all, "OMG!"

What is the name of your pet? Are you for serious? All you have to do is troll my profile for "I'm feeding the damn cat again. God, I hate you, Bootsy." I mean, Jeebus, you don't even have to be my Facebook friend- just read through my blog archive!

What is your favorite holiday? This is a crappy question. There aren't all that many holidays- it's a matter of trial and error. Again, you don't even have to be my Facebook friend. Just guess.

In what city were you born in? (Another A.D.D. Moment: You don't have to say "in" twice, stupid.) This is a lot like the "mother's maiden name" question. Skip to my birthplace on my Facebook profile and type in the city.

USPS's only saving grace (and also its curse) is that you have to have your username in order to reset your password. I'm sure we've all forgotten our username at some point or other, and it's right frustrating to be told you can't even get an email reminder for it. Also, if you reset your password, all stored credit card information will be deleted. Just in case you decided you wanted to use my credit card to buy a huge P.O. box for 12 months for $600.

If you have my username, you probably have my email address. It's easy enough to figure out the answers to those questions as well- all Facebook-able within an hour or so.

In other words, I really hope none of my Facebook friends have any interest in my USPS account, because if they do, I'm completely screwed.