For a few months, I was okay. I was forced to go to church, which I found- and still find- horrid. I was told by my step-father not to turn into an atheist.
In church, I started to see little inconsistencies in the Bible. The differences between what the different preachers taught. The bigotry and hypocrisy as well. It bothered me.
Then, I started wondering what would happen if an atheist led a good life, helped tons of people, and was generally a good person. Would they still be sentenced to an eternity of burning? My brain was starting to refuse to even try to make sense of it.
I asked for opinions on the good!Atheist subject on Facebook. I got into a discussion with a Christian (fairly laidback guy), two strong atheists (one of whom was trolling for about fifty comments, pretending to be a crazy fanatical Christian), and a newly-converted Wiccan (he's "trying it out" at the insistence of his girlfriend; in my opinion, you don't "try out" beliefs, you believe them, but that's a different story entirely).
I walked away from that conversation an agnostic theist.
Not even twenty-four hours later, and I'm a strong agnostic. I can't prove the existence of God, and neither can you. (Just don't let any of my relatives hear that this is what I think, heehee. Not kidding.)
Probably the best summary I could find is this: "I believe that it is simply not possible to ascertain whether there is a divine godlike force at the heart of the universe. The question is unanswerable."
And just a quote that works for me: "I find enough mystery in mathematics to satisfy my spiritual needs." -Tom Lehrer