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One of those crazy teen blogger types. Completely bribe-able with coffee. An INTP.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Uberman Sleep Schedule

I'm going to start this post with a few shamelessly "borrowed" quotes from Cracked.com, mmk? The writer of the 5 Ways to Hack Your Brain into Awesomeness post has phrased it so much better than I ever could:

"What if we told you there was a way to sleep for little more than two hours a day, and still feel more refreshed than taking a 12-hour siesta on a bed made entirely out of baby kitten fur?

"It's called the Uberman Sleep Schedule, and besides having a totally badass name, it's a way to get the maximum amount of essential sleep for your body without wasting hours of precious time you could be using to work or drink or farm for World of Warcraft gold. The schedule consists of taking six, 20-30 minute power naps, every four hours during the day. Of course, this new sleep pattern blows donkey-dick to get used to, but it's a price you have to pay to basically extend your waking life by several years.

"The best way to start it off is to just jump right in. Get to sleep at 8pm, set your alarm for 8:30. Get up, play some Call of Duty, sleep again at 12, alarm at 12:30, and so on. After three or four days of this you will start to get high as fuck because of sleep deprivation, and might just want to kill yourself, but don't do it! That would be absolutely counter-productive.
"By day 10 or so, your brain will say, 'Fuck! FINE, we'll do it your way,' and will adapt to your new superhuman sleep schedule."

So... yeah. This is what I'm doing! I'll be sleeping on the following schedule for the remainder of the summer, and if things go well, I'll continue on into the school year! (I'm perfectly capable of sleeping through lunch. Not like I haven't done it before, y'know?) The stuff inside the parentheses (in italics, for unnecessary emphasis) is my probable location on a school day.

Nap 1 3:00-3:30 AM (home)
Nap 2 7:00-7:30 AM (in the car)
Nap 3 11:00-11:30 AM (cafeteria)
Nap 4 3:00-3:30 PM (library/home)
Nap 5 7:00-7:30 PM (home)
Nap 6 11:00-11:30 PM (home)

According to what I've read on the subject (a great deal, incidentally), it's possible to move the beginning of the naps up to twenty minutes either way and not suffer any ill effects. It's skipping them that puts you in deep feces.

I anticipate our household will suddenly be spending a lot more on coffee.

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