Omegle Chat (2:55 AM)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: damn that bitch was a whore

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Omegle Chat (2:53 AM)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: im looking for a man to bend me over and treat me like a little slut

You: damn that bitch was a whore

You: wow.

Omegle Chat (2:52 AM)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: damn that bitch was a whore

Stranger: i completely agree

You: i know!

You: such a bitch...

Stranger: did she fuck someone else?

Stranger: did the bitch fucking cheat on you?

You: no, it was the last person i talked to on omegle. fucking told me stop cussing.

Stranger: wow, what a cunt

You: i know! i mean, fuckin hell?

Stranger: exactly

Stranger: later homo

Career Management Success/Business Management Essay

Okay, before I even start with the essay, let me just say: it should not be legal for a class title to be that long. That phrase is six words long, which, in my opinion, is at least three too many. 

The teacher (Mr. Byrd) must have a thing for long titles, because the essay assignment sheet he gave us the second day was titled, 'Essay Title: "Where I hope to be and what I hope to be doing ten years from now"'

First of all, dumbass, that should all be capitalized. Second of all, remove the phrase 'Essay Title.' It is redundant, seeing as it is at the top of the page. Third, shorten it up, or your students will hate you even more than they already do, and they won't even pretend to laugh at your dumb jokes. Even Roupal, or however you spell her name.

I'm glad I decided to type the thing. We were given a minimum amount of 200 words, and mine ended up being exactly 856 words (not including the huge-ass header I had to put on there). Ugh... he better accept it. He accepted Buma's (Buma is the guy's last name, we all call him that) paper at 166 words, so if mine isn't acceptable, I will demand to be transferred out.

I didn't want to be in that class! I wanted concert band, dammit! Oy, vei. (Or however you spell it.)

Retarded 3rd Grade Question

Are you smarter than a 3rd grader? My 3rd grade sister apparently isn't.

Question from "Brain Quest: Math Basics (3rd Grade)" (bolding added by me) was this: "Mr. and Mrs. Lee are the parents of 3 sons. Each son has 1 sister. How many children in all?"

She thought it was six, which makes total sense. One girl to each boy: three boys, three girls, six children total. Apparently, though, it's four. Why? Because that book is irritating.

The answer: "Four. The brothers all have the same sister."

THE FUCK? I believe a nice XKCD comic is necessary here.

Nuke is a Four-Letter Word

I have finally realized why the cookbook my grandmother gave me (peta's Vegan College Cookbook) entertains me so much more than the cookbook my stepmother gave me (Ok, So Now You're a Vegetarian). First off, peta's has much more of a 'hey, check this shit out!' feel, and tells jokes all the time. Ok, ... doesn't, and has this weird feel to it... I mean, look at the title. It's a bad title. I don't like it. And the part under it, 'from one teen to another,' just makes me want to hurl. People my age don't call each other 'teens.'

We call each other other names. Ones I'm not sure I should say ;)

Anyways, the reason is that- all right, I just noticed something else. The author of the second one? Her last name is Butts. Why would I want to eat food from recipes created with the last name Butts? Moving on.

The peta cookbook uses the word 'nuke' more than half the time to replace the traditional word, 'microwave.' As in, "nuke for 1 minute, or until cheese is melted." That word never fails to amuse me. Nuke, nuke, nukity nuke.

Girls Rule the Blogosphere, says NYT

Uhm, what the hell? This post by the New York Times- yes, go read it, I'll wait- implies that people should be surprised by the fact that more teenage girls blog than boys. Since when are all computer users male? Since when do females not have free range over the internet, just as males do? Blegh.

The phrases the author uses even annoy me. Here are a few:

"This 'girls rule' trend..."

"'Girls are trained to make stories about themselves,'"

"From a young age they learn that they are objects,"

"'This would be called the feminization of the Internet,'"

"'Boys... engage in ways that aren’t confessional, that aren’t emotional.'"

"'The girls are much more into putting something up and getting responses.'"

What the fuck? Plenty of guys blog. Here's a starter list:

My Name is Logan

Something Like That

Cafe Denim

I'm Bloginit!

There. There's four I follow. Now, go visit them and tell me they're just as funny as I am. (But not funnier, because that would offend me, haha.)