Jesus Christ, I'm So Goddamn Blasphemous!

Just a little drabble-sketch my friend Persephone and I came up with.

God: "Jesus Christ, those two girls keep taking my goddamn name in vain! It's fucking annoying!"
Jesus: "Dad? Are you okay?"
God: "I'm kidding. Fuckin' Christ, Jesus, learn to take a goddamn joke."
Jesus: "I didn't know you had a sense of humor, Dad!"
God: "Fuck, of course I have a sense of humor! I made chihuahuas, didn't I? Jesus Christ, kids these days have to have everything explained right out for them."

Yeah, we're awful. We know.

Gender Bender (or, She Says/She Says)

My friend and I recently got into a discussion about religion (mostly female preachers), and other things you're not supposed to discuss at the dinner table. It's okay, though, because we weren't eating at the table- we were eating on her bedroom floor, and there were no sharp objects involved.

Disclaimer: If you can't keep calm while you're commenting, wait a day or so. Your blood pressure should be at a normal or only slightly elevated level when you comment. You can disagree with anything we say- we won't be offended- but please, for the sake of your dignity and my bandwidth, don't argue. Debate? Sure. But argue? Save it for the playground.

She is of the opinion that God made men first and gave woman to man as a companion, therefore man comes first in the household and in the church- BUT that does not give him the right to control all aspects of a woman's life. He simply stands in front, which by default means he "takes the bullet" for the woman. So, in her words: "Yeah, he can be the head of the household, and have the final say, but when shit hits the fan he's the one that's going to be stinking."

I am of the opinion that God made men first and gave woman to man as a companion. However, I believe that companions are equal. I'm not saying women are better than men, or that we should dominate the household; I'm just saying that women should be given the chance, the opportunity, and/or the "privelege" to protect and defend herself. Should she be able to rely on her man? Yeah, definitely. Whatever floaties your boaty. Should she have to? I don't think so. They need to stand beside each other. In my words: "When the shit hits the fan, we all need a long, hot shower and some baked goods."

Enough said, probably. Thoughts? Opinions? Leave a comment!

Some Snarky Things I Do

• When I stand up to say the Pledge of Allegiance (y'know, "to the flag of the United States of America..."), I start strong with "I pledge allegiance to..." and end with "liberty and justice for all." I just kinda stand there and sway for the rest of it. I don't pledge allegiance to a flag.
• I point out my "superiors"' grammatical errors because it makes me have that warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
• When people start over-bitching, I just go, "Ooh, I hate that, too. You know what else I hate? Overly negative people! Those fuckers!"
• I tweet passively-aggressively. You know when I pretend to text so I can get out of our conversation when it goes down the drain? I'm actually tweeting about how awful you are.
• I actually say "Bless her heart."