Some Snarky Things I Do

• When I stand up to say the Pledge of Allegiance (y'know, "to the flag of the United States of America..."), I start strong with "I pledge allegiance to..." and end with "liberty and justice for all." I just kinda stand there and sway for the rest of it. I don't pledge allegiance to a flag.
• I point out my "superiors"' grammatical errors because it makes me have that warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
• When people start over-bitching, I just go, "Ooh, I hate that, too. You know what else I hate? Overly negative people! Those fuckers!"
• I tweet passively-aggressively. You know when I pretend to text so I can get out of our conversation when it goes down the drain? I'm actually tweeting about how awful you are.
• I actually say "Bless her heart."

This Has Gone Too Far.

Read the title. What do I speak of that is so blasphemous, you ask?

Misspellings. Now, for the record, I don't mean weird words like "Mongolian" and "virtuous." I mean perfectly normal words. Words everyone uses every day. Like "definitely" and "like." Or, as they're apparently spelled now, "defiantly" and "liek."

This has gone way. Too. Fucking. Far. These misspellings disgust me, and I want it to end. I say we start a revolution! A revolution to change the world into a place where proper spelling and grammar makes you a royal, not a geek or nerd- or the forsaken dork. (You know what a dork technically is? A whale's penis. Now you know.)

A revolution! Who's with me?

Nobody?

Ugh.