Better as Friends
Example: Bad Boy and I, Hammy and Ember
Description: One of the two is romantically interested in the other. The other is flattered by the attention- so flattered, in fact, that he or she begins to return the feelings. They date, but one or the other eventually realized they were only in it for the feelings they were getting out of it and that the two would be better off friends.
How long does it last? Three weeks to a month.
Only There for the Title
Example: Drummer and I, Bad Boy and Ember
Description: At least one of the two parties involved is in it only for the title of Boyfriend or Girlfriend. They don't find the other person irresistible; they just really want to be in a relationship, and it doesn't necessarily matter with whom. Eventually one or both parties realize that the whole thing is pretty much a sham devoid of any actual emotional involvement.
How long does it last? One to two weeks.
Potential for Sexytimes?
Example: Donkey and Ember, Whiny Bitch and I
Description: One party is emotionally involved while the other is simply looking for someone to easily manipulate into sex. It isn't always the male looking for sexytimes, but I have yet to see a female in that position (perhaps I'm just too young for my social group to have that happen yet). Generally the emotionally involved party ends up heartbroken regardless of if they give in or not (you'll be glad to hear that neither Ember nor I gave in).
How long does it last? It really depends on how long it takes for the sexytimes-craving party to make it clear that's what he or she is there for. A couple of weeks, maximum.
Stuck in Tar
Example: Xeno and HipsterGurl
Description: Both parties are emotionally involved in the start. Seems healthy, right? Then one party starts getting jealous of the other person's friends. That party is hurt when the other person doesn't talk on the phone for two hours a night. That party is jealous when the other person spends time with people other than mutual friends, and even with mutual friends if that's without the jealousy-prone party. The jealous party becomes an emotional wreck, telling the other person that this relationship is his or her life and that life would be meaningless without it and that this has been the only thing keeping that person sane. The non-jealousy-prone party is scared, and it takes him or her months to work up the nerve to break it off. Even after the breakup, the jealousy-prone party will pretend inside his or her head that the two are still in a relationship, much to the chagrin of every other fucking person around him or her.
How long does it last? Six to twelve months, depending on the level of clinginess and the severity of the threats of what will happen should the relationship end.
Who Are You?
Example: Guillermo and Crazy Bitch, Whiny Bitch and I
Description: These two don't know each other very well when they start dating. They weren't friends for a while first- maybe they met through a mutual friend, maybe they met at a party, but they haven't known each other for more than a few days when one asks the other out. Sometimes they hit it off and all is well, but other times one party or the other realizes what kind of crazy they're dealing with.
How long does it last? Two weeks to two months, depending on the level of crazy.
Forever Fighting
Example: The Calculus Couple
Description: These two never stop fucking fighting and nagging at each other. "Babe, how could you mess that up?" "Ugh, your hair is getting too long." "That wasn't rude, it was perfectly justified." It doesn't look that bad as text, but when it's said with the level of exasperated disdain these two manage, and when it's this constant (to the point that when someone asks a friend of the two where they are, that friend replies with "Off somewhere arguing about some stupid bullshit, I'm sure.") it's emotionally scarring even for those not in the relationship but simply in its general proximity.
How long does it last? If the two don't realize what's going on, upwards of a year.
-------
Well, that does it for now. No comment on the shape of mine and Kirby's relationship- it's going well, and I don't want to give that shit a description or a timeframe. That would just be depressing, you know?
Looking back at the examples and seeing how many of them include me makes this feel like the Taylor Swift song of blog posts.
Anyways, what kind of relationships have you been in, readers? Do you have any suggestions for additional types or subtypes? Reply with a comment!
About the Author
- Artemis.
- One of those crazy teen blogger types. Completely bribe-able with coffee. An INTP.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Rationalist Manifesto
In my AP European History class, we recently read Marx's Communist Manifesto and the class had an informal discussion about why real-world applications of communism tend to do poorly even though the concept looks and sounds brilliant. We came to the conclusion that it's due to the human element.
I've been longing for a rationalist society in which every major decision would be based in logic, not in tradition or anything like that (tradition could be integrated in a "Most people will agree that the tradition of having weekends off is worth keeping" kind of way). Of course, I realize that nobody can be entirely rational 100% of the time and that many people can barely be entirely rational 25% of the time.
And so I wrote this- the Rationalist Manifesto- during English class instead of reading about Herman Melville (which reminds me, when I finish typing this up, I really must start reading Moby Dick). I post it here for you with no changes (not even where I questioned my word choice while re-reading it). Enjoy.
I do not know what kind of person I am. I thirst for knowledge and for change- for revolution- yet I know not how to even approach such a thing. Who must I call to make the rich treat the poor with common decency? To whom do I have to send a letter- and on what kind of letterhead- to get religion out of politics?
I want society to change for the better, even if (perhaps especially if) this change must be gradual. I want rationality, critical thinking, and the desire to learn to be cherished above all else. What will it take?
Many others have tried before me to create a fresh society comprised entirely of rational beings, and it seems the consistent problem of such groups has been the human element. You can witness this even in small, unorganized, friendly groups of intellectuals: someone becomes upset and the entire group becomes absurdly and violently reactionary. If it is too much to expect even a small, (presumably) carefully selected group of people to work, live, laugh, and love in a consistently rational environment, one cannot possibly expect the same of an entire city, state, country, continent, hemisphere, or planet. No world is perfect, after all. Unfortunate, but true.
So I admit that a solely rational world is not feasible. Anyone who thinks otherwise is overestimating humanity. (I've been there; I'm not judging. Really and truthfully, one's thoughts and actions must be fairly laudable in order to expect so much of others. Laudable in their rationality, of course, not necessarily in their morality.) So we cannot expect that, and it is important that we remember this.
But one can dream- oh, one can dream.
Drop a comment below with your thoughts on the possibility or impossibility of a rational society.
I've been longing for a rationalist society in which every major decision would be based in logic, not in tradition or anything like that (tradition could be integrated in a "Most people will agree that the tradition of having weekends off is worth keeping" kind of way). Of course, I realize that nobody can be entirely rational 100% of the time and that many people can barely be entirely rational 25% of the time.
And so I wrote this- the Rationalist Manifesto- during English class instead of reading about Herman Melville (which reminds me, when I finish typing this up, I really must start reading Moby Dick). I post it here for you with no changes (not even where I questioned my word choice while re-reading it). Enjoy.
I do not know what kind of person I am. I thirst for knowledge and for change- for revolution- yet I know not how to even approach such a thing. Who must I call to make the rich treat the poor with common decency? To whom do I have to send a letter- and on what kind of letterhead- to get religion out of politics?
I want society to change for the better, even if (perhaps especially if) this change must be gradual. I want rationality, critical thinking, and the desire to learn to be cherished above all else. What will it take?
Many others have tried before me to create a fresh society comprised entirely of rational beings, and it seems the consistent problem of such groups has been the human element. You can witness this even in small, unorganized, friendly groups of intellectuals: someone becomes upset and the entire group becomes absurdly and violently reactionary. If it is too much to expect even a small, (presumably) carefully selected group of people to work, live, laugh, and love in a consistently rational environment, one cannot possibly expect the same of an entire city, state, country, continent, hemisphere, or planet. No world is perfect, after all. Unfortunate, but true.
So I admit that a solely rational world is not feasible. Anyone who thinks otherwise is overestimating humanity. (I've been there; I'm not judging. Really and truthfully, one's thoughts and actions must be fairly laudable in order to expect so much of others. Laudable in their rationality, of course, not necessarily in their morality.) So we cannot expect that, and it is important that we remember this.
But one can dream- oh, one can dream.
Drop a comment below with your thoughts on the possibility or impossibility of a rational society.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Swanky
So last night I went to this magnificently swanky party in a suite that one man described as "very Sex and the City." The suite had three stories (with the bottom story on floor nine of the entire building, if I remember correctly), lighted stairs, chrome and modern furniture all around, floor-to-ceiling windows. It was pretty damn swanky.
It was like someone had gathered together Music City's biggest and richest and put them all in the same room to mingle- actually, no, it wasn't like that. That's exactly what the fuck it was. I shook the hand of some NFL player I- of course- didn't recognize, met the mother of the guy who played the Winklevoss twins in The Social Network (Armie Hammer), chatted with the most celebrated celebrity makeup artist in the city, and just general mixed and mingled with a lot of amazing people I didn't recognize. And I was offered wine (which I politely declined) on more than one occasion.
The occasion being celebrated? The premier of the new television show of a good friend of my grandmother's, Jonathon Pierce. The show is called Interiors, Inc. and airs on HGTV at 9:30 (8:30 Central) every Saturday.
It was like someone had gathered together Music City's biggest and richest and put them all in the same room to mingle- actually, no, it wasn't like that. That's exactly what the fuck it was. I shook the hand of some NFL player I- of course- didn't recognize, met the mother of the guy who played the Winklevoss twins in The Social Network (Armie Hammer), chatted with the most celebrated celebrity makeup artist in the city, and just general mixed and mingled with a lot of amazing people I didn't recognize. And I was offered wine (which I politely declined) on more than one occasion.
The occasion being celebrated? The premier of the new television show of a good friend of my grandmother's, Jonathon Pierce. The show is called Interiors, Inc. and airs on HGTV at 9:30 (8:30 Central) every Saturday.
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